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Relationship Attachment Style Test | Psychology Today

 

adult attachment style test

“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.” – William D. Tammeus Your adult attachment style has developed as a result of repetitive interpersonal interactions with important caregivers or parents as Author: Laura K. Chang, Ph.D. Understanding your attachment style provides direction for improving the quality of your relationships. Tips to get more out of the test. Having your partner take the test to reveal his or her attachment style provides an even deeper level of insight into the dynamics of your relationship. Take the Attachment Styles Test by Dr. Diane Poole Heller and learn what your Adult Attachment Style is: Secure, Avoidant, Ambivalent, or Disorganized. This easy questionnaire is designed to be an interactive learning tool. When responding, consider how strongly you identify with each statement.


What Attachment Type Are You? | Jeb Kinnison


When completing this questionnaire, please focus on one significant relationship — ideally a current or past partner as the focus here is on adult relationships. This does not necessarily need to be a romantic relationship but must be the individual with whom you feel the most connection. This questionnaire is designed to be an interactive learning tool. When responding, consider how strongly you identify with each statement — disagree, adult attachment style test, mostly agree, strongly agree.

Using the scale below, respond in the space provided. In order to serve you better can you tell us if you are in the mental health, social work, therapist or coaching profession Y or N? These are described below. Secure attachment is the ideal attachment style needed to enjoy healthy boundaries, fluidity of intimacy and individuation, and social engagement. Children who experience this type of holding environment grow to feel safe to explore the world, interact with others with trust, and to have emotional resilience and regulation.

As adults they will tend to have greater confidence, better balance and choices in relationships, and the ability to both give and receive love. Avoidantly attached people commonly find their greatest struggle to be a lack of emotion. Without intimate nurturance the limbic system is neurologically starved and does not receive the adult attachment style test required for building social responses nor the adult attachment style test brain stimulation that develops bonding.

This disconnection extends first to the parents and then to all other relationships. Ambivalently attached people have had caregivers who were on again off again, inconsistently tending and attuning to the child. Over time they find themselves on an emotional see saw of needs being met and not being met. You may observe that in ambivalent attachment styles there is a tendency to be chronically dissatisfied.

First, there is a tendency to project their own familial history onto their relationship. Secondly if the other person becomes available, they become unavailable!

Over time partners of Ambivalent people can be discouraged by their love being dismissed and the loss of the relationship can be the both the feared and created outcome. A Disorganized Attachment style results when caregivers present double-binding messages to children. Come here, go away. Parents create situations for the child that are unsolvable and un-win-able.

For example a parent may ask a child to do a task such as sweep the floor. When adult attachment style test child begins to do so the parent criticizes how it is being done, or even when it is being done. The child may attempt to do the task again taking the direction but is criticized again. The parent may then deride the child for not doing what the parent has asked them to do and punish them for not doing the job.

When exposed to these impossible-to-resolve situations over and over again the child develops a pattern of not solving problems, adult attachment style test.

When parents set up these interactions that are frightening, disorienting, inherently disorganizing, and which sometimes involve violence, the parents become the source of fear, adult attachment style test.

The disorganized pattern arises in the child when there is a desire to be close to the parent as an object of safety conflicting with a drive to detach from a dangerous and confusing caregiver. For the Adult this may mean being held emotionally hostage by the conflict of the desire for intimacy as well as adult attachment style test fear of it. Attachment Styles Test. Know your Adult Attachment Style When completing this questionnaire, please focus on one significant relationship — ideally a current or past partner as the focus here is on adult relationships.

Please enter your email to view your results. Yes No. I feel inexplicably stressed when my partner arrives home or approaches me — especially when he or she wants to connect. I attempt to discover and meet the needs of my partner whenever possible, adult attachment style test. I often expect the worst to happen in my relationship. I want closeness but am also afraid of the one I desire to be close with, adult attachment style test. I get stuck in approach-avoidance patterns with my partner.

I feel comfortable expressing my own needs. My partner often comments or complains that I am controlling. It is important for my partner to keep arrangements simple and clear because I am easily confused or disoriented, especially when stressed. I sometimes feel superior in not needing others and I wish others were more self-sufficient, adult attachment style test.

Protection often feels out of reach. I struggle to feel safe with my partner. It is often difficult to receive love from my partner when they express it. When I reach a certain level of intimacy with my partner, I sometimes experience inexplicable fear. I feel relaxed with my partner most of the time. Keeping agreements with my partner is a priority. When I lose a relationship, at first I tend to experience separation elation and then become depressed.

I find it easy to flow between being close and connected with my partner to being on my own. I am comfortable being affectionate with my partner. I find myself minimizing the importance of close relationships in my adult attachment style test. I feel that people are essentially good at heart. I am always yearning for something or someone that I feel I cannot have, adult attachment style test. I tend to prefer relationships with things or animals instead of people.

It is difficult for me to say NO or to set realistic boundaries. I look at my partner with kindness and caring and look forward to our time together. At the same time as I feel a deep wish to be close with my partner, I also have a paralyzing fear of losing the relationship. When presented with problems, I often feel stumped and feel they are irresolvable. I feel like my partner is always there but I would often prefer to have my own space unless I invite the connection.

It is easier for me to think things through than to express myself emotionally. I have a hard time remembering and discussing the feelings related to my past attachment situations, when I try I disconnect, dissociate, or get confused. I want to be close with my partner but feel angry at my partner at the same time.

It is difficult for me to be alone. After anxiously awaiting my partner's arrival, I end up picking fights. I chronically second-guess myself and sometimes wish I had said something differently. I have an exaggerated startle response when others approach me unexpectedly. I attempt to maintain safety in our relationship and actively protect my partner from others and from harm. I tend to lose myself in relationships because I tend to over-focus on others, adult attachment style test.

Sometimes I prefer casual sex over a committed relationship.

 

What is Your Attachment Style?

 

adult attachment style test

 

Understanding your attachment style provides direction for improving the quality of your relationships. Tips to get more out of the test. Having your partner take the test to reveal his or her attachment style provides an even deeper level of insight into the dynamics of your relationship. Attachment Style Test. Among psychologists, the concept of attachment styles has long been known to be a significant predictor of a person's way of relating to others. Backed by longitudinal studies made by both psychologists and biologists, the claims of attachment style theory are well-established. This online test by R. Chris Fraley is thorough and self-scoring, and it’s part of ongoing research, so please go take it and come right back: Attachment Style Test. (When that test is not working, try this test which asks a smaller number of questions about several important relationships: Relationship Structures.